Up in the Air

4:40 pm Oct 17 (GMT -8) - Posted later due to internet shortages.

So here I am, somewhere above Lake Athabasca, over Saskatchewan.

Suddenly, I was just struck with that I am really over Saskatchewan. Assiniboia district. This is the land that my ancestors all settled in, well the K's, the F's, the O's... not sure about the H's. This was a land of refuge for those Europeans. Depending on the part of my family, they came here from different lands and for different reasons, but overwhelmingly it was the decision to head west in hope.

I wonder if it's a distant remnant of that hope which has me pursue a life in England. And it's a hiatus for me. I'm not fleeing religious persecution or desolate circumstances. There is no unrest in Russia forcing me away from the Black Sea. I am not fleeing an abusive family, courageously seeking Canada at 13. There is no urgency to my trip besides the pursuit of a better life.

Another theme to my life these last few days has been that of fate. I'm not sure what lies ahead for me, but I am clear that I just took a fork in the road. I do not live in Canada anymore. I live nowhere. And in a sense, I'm not clear that I will ever live anywhere again. I have given up my home.

I'm curious to see how I'll feel about my hometown when I return next year. The supermall will be built. School will be waiting. My friends and family left behind will still be there. But it will all have changed, and I will have missed it.

On a less sentimental note, I am listening to my recent download of Jones Street Station. It's excellent. I was drawn to them because of their fantastic music video, but since then I downloaded a bunch of their music. Pretty awesome.

This morning was surreal. Dad left me a note, which made me cry, and I hung out with and said goodbye to Elway. I hope he's still around when I get back, but I don't know. I spent a good portion of this time wondering what the hell I was thinking. Then I taxied to the Airport. That was just fuss, getting on the plane and whatnot, but upon arrival in Vancouver I saw a departures screen which listed all these international destinations: Tokyo, Shanghai . . . and though my departure wasn't listed, it made it real again for me.

Holy pierogi I'm going to England.

We're already half-way across Saskatchewan. From the looks of this map, Nunavut is missing. It's all just NWT. I'm not clear where the border is, so I can't say for sure where I'm headed next.

Los Angeles is on the little flight map. That just makes me think of the crazy idea I had of finishing my Comp-Sci degree and heading to Silicone Valley. Working in California. In the sun. Where it's warm. Having lived my whole life in Canada, I can't imagine a place that doesn't just rain most of the time. I can't imagine being warm all the time. That just seems like an unreasonable luxury, but for me it could be possible.

I guess following the film people also has this seem like more of a possibility for me, given that they all live there. That's something to think about.

Living somewhere warm. Being warm. It just not raining all the time.

Anyway, the dinner cart is on its way here, so I guess I will stop for now. Have to make the best possible use of my tray, here.