Still homeless. There is something sort of satisfying about it, really. I have no obligations beyond sitting around on peoples' couches, cleaning up after myself, and helping to pay for groceries.
The time staying with friends and baby was great. The baby was pretty cool though I'm clearer still that I don't want to have children of my own. It's not that I have anything against babies, it's more that I'm becoming clearer and clearer that I don't know that I want to dedicate my life to anything in particular. It's not that I would have to quit my job and stay home with the kids, giving up on all hope of being anything other than a mother, but more that I want the freedom to do whatever I like.
That being said, I'm not sure if that's all of it. Plenty of people drag their kids around while they move countries or cities - think of army brats or children of diplomats or whatever. I think it's more that I just don't want to be accountable to anyone who can't take care of themself. A partner is easy - they have free will to do whatever it is they want and can choose to follow me or not. But a child would be dependent on me for everything, and I just don't want that much responsibility.
Back to my homeless state.
The longer that I go on with this, the easier I am finding it. With low responsibility comes high relaxation. Also, a lot of time on the internet. This leads to me getting to participate in Twitter AMA's and read everything I possibly can by Dan Harmon. My hope is that if I consume enough, I will eventually begin to be able to produce something worthwhile.
Or, maybe I'll just stay entertained.
No comments:
Post a Comment